butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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