its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
