walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
