it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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