remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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