The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
