Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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