I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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