I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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