omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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