He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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