i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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