My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
