Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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