sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
