Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
