Your tits are I can't wait for
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
