I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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