On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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