I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
