how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This is my gift to your gina
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
