I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
