so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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