Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
