playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
