This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
