I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
