May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
