1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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