You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
