she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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