I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
