is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
