guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
