it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
