i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I understand Curling. That high.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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