don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
