recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
