found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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