i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
