when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
is that a dick in a sweater?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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