clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
