she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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