Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
