Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The power of my boobs compel you
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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