READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
