the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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