i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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