Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
