I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
