the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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