last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
