so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize